She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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