That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
