where am i from again
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
