So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
