If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You took a bar mat shot.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
