nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
