You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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