Say something about gay babies.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
