My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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