Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
