p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
