On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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