As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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