those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
