I heard we made out
no, he came in my armpit
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
