One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
