He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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