hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
