I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
