Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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