my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
