I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
