I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
