Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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