If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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