i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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