well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
