drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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