as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
