I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
