We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
