I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
