Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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