In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
