no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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