The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
