We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
