I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
