Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
