Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
