How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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