You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
