im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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