I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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