didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
