I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
