I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Pants are for mortals
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
