She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
