I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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