if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
