overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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